It's only logical

Max is almost completely out of all toddler like activities these days. He is potty trained, but not accident free. He is mostly reasonable, but still can throw a wallop of a fit, albeit less frequently. Suddenly he protects his two year old little cousin rather than fight with her. Next month my baby will be four, and I love how our conversations go these days, even though sometimes I don't come out on top.

xoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxox

Me to Max: Max can you hold the dustpan for Nonnie like you do for mommy?

Max: No, I only do that for my mommy.

Me: Max, remember Nonnie is my mommy, so it is okay, almost just like doing it for your mommy.

Max: You do it for her then, she's your mommy.

xoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxox

I took him clothes shopping with me the other night. Without big brother to wrestle with, he was quite helpful and sat nicely on the bench in the changing room while I tried a few clothes on. First outfit a pant suit, he made sure I was putting it on correctly, Does that shirt get tucked in mom? When I explained it stayed out, he exclaimed, It is beautiful mommy! After trying on a dress, he proudly said Mom that looks like a wedding dress, you are pretty. But the winner, was when I tried on a sparkly red and black shirt and he yelled excitedly Mommy you look like a rock star! I bought the shirt and wore it to the Symphony the next night, and every time someone complimented it, I had to tell them about my personal shopper.

Hope you had a Bubbly Valentines Day!

On Friday a lovely package came in the mail for me thanks to a Valentine Gift Exchange sponsored by Becca's Blog from the Left Coast.

My gift exchange partner is a blogger previously unknown to me The Gaelic Wife.

I love the theme, Bubbles! In fact if someone wonders where I am this afternoon I think it will be safe to say I am relaxing in a tub full of bubbles drinking champagne and blowing bubbles with my wand and my gum!

I think it will be a well deserved time out, it was an insanely busy week and we were out late last night. Yesterday was the Roswell Symphony Orchestras Concert with Opera Singers performing the concert version of La Traviata. I dutifully acted as a gopher before the show in my heels, running from front to back as needed to help out my husband. I snuck up to the balcony after we were done with ticket sales and was mesmerized by the culmination of all the hard work to put the show on. It really takes a group of professionals to show up on a Thursday, rehearse and have a show on Saturday. Ben played Tuba as well this performance and managed to take care of all the little details before and play. I was so proud, and didn't mind sitting by myself at all, of course as a musicians wife one gets used to that. Afterward, we enjoyed a lovely reception, that included chocolate and strawberries, my favorite! We hit the hay at his great aunts house since the 40 minute drive home was more than we wanted to do last night, although we had to be up and ready early to get to church this morning as we both were part of the music service. All in all I would rate it as one of the best if not busiest valentines day ever!

Thanks so much to Becca and The Gaelic's Wife for making it that much sweeter!

Who knows the plans he has for me?

I wasn't going to post about this because quite frankly it hurts still.

I already lost my awesome job. While out on our rounds on Monday and Tuesday, they lost a several hundred acres and I could tell it worried my new employer. She said it usually evens out, but on Friday she called and said the rest of the week hadn't produced any more and she was afraid that was going to have to be the end for now, it was too big of a hit for them to support having me on as well.

Of course I worry about what I did wrong. Logic tells me that I didn't do anything but still my mind can think of a billion stupid things.

This week I have had two friends in California laid off, and know the hits to their family is far worse than the hit mine is taking.

Of course the reality is that we have a money situation facing us that I know is going to put us in the hole if we have to rely on our current incomes. I really do need a job that is providing me with more work that subbing is right now.

So all weekend long in quiet moments I obsess about which not as ideal job as the last one should I apply for. This morning I literally wake up worrying and have knots in my stomach about what is coming up this week. I pray as I work in my garden, getting out some frustration, I tell God which job I think is best and why... wondering what will happen... how will we pay this bill now. I want answers about why this great opportunity was dangled in my face and so abruptly taken away.

I try to enter church on Sunday mornings with a clean heart and clean conscious. I think I need to read and pray before church today. As I open my bible Jeremiah, 29:11 comes to mind, I wonder why? I am only on chapter 2 of Jeremiah. So I look it up and remember making a graphic of this verse as a present for a friend.

I feel a peace come over me as I try to remember that while I may not be in control right now, someone far more powerful is, who has seen me through much much worse circumstances.

Then I was checking out Renee Swope's Blog, The Journey of my Heart, and it was dead on for me this weekend. Writing on Phillipians 4:5-7 she states "In the NIV translation, Verse 7 says, "the peace of God, which transcends all understanding, will guard your hearts and your minds in Christ Jesus." Oh that God's peace would transcend my need to understand! Sometimes that is my biggest problem, I can accept what God is doing if He'd just help me understand why He's doing it that way." Wow, that describes me to a T!

So I felt moved to share from place of hurt, because I am sure I am not the only one wondering why? What will I do now? What did I do wrong? I know trusting that I am in the right place doing the right thing is so very very hard when things don't go my way.

I also found this graphic I had made while looking for the one from Jeremiah. I really cannot think of a better conclusion than this, and marvel how when I asked for peace about this situation how many great examples I happened across this morning.

Randomness....

Heather from Ramblings of the Shy & Insecure, tagged me to write 6 random things about myself. Since I am in need of easy blog material and she is an 4-H buddy from back in the day, I have to comply. I have been learning so much about her, like the fact that she says she is shy, which is not how I would have described her growing up. It just goes to show how our perceptions about ourselves and others are not always reality.

1. Speaking of random perceptions of ourselves... I constantly worry about being too weird, except when I don't care how weird I am, and then I am obnoxious. I know someone else who does this and it annoys me about them at times, which is surprising, one would think I would be more sympathetic.

2. Today as we visited farms, there were at least two places we went that I knew the farmers kids growing up, I really wanted to ask about them but worried because in both cases I have heard they are pretty screwed up on drugs. I wonder what is more impolite, to act like I don't care, or be respectful and not bring up a possibly bad subject. Luckily I didn't actually see either farmer so it was a moot point today.

3. I have found out how out of shape I am the last two days. Turns out getting on my hands and knees digging around for bugs uses muscles that have lain dormant for far too long, I am really sore right now. Wii Fit should add a bug scouting workout section.

4. Blogging turned out to be beneficial to me last week. I subbed in a computer class at the junior high and the kids read a chapter of their manual on the computer and then had to practice html. They subject was numbered lists, bulleted lists and nested lists. While I didn't know how to do what they needed to do prior to the lesson, when they told me they were complete I was able to read their html script and see if they did it with html or by simply typing. The look of shock when I asked to see their code was great! They thought they were getting away with something, and I was able to help them do it right.

5. I am really missing my dishwasher lately, even though it has been nearly two years without it. I have one, but no room to put it in. Have I ever mention how much I bite at dishwashing, I still have to rewash things all the time. Aren't you looking forward to dinner at my house now?

6. Some errant blog I read for artsy crafty inspiration posted a link to this recipe that has me salivating. Luckily I am low on eggs or I might just try this from scratch. I have to remember I am trying to loose weight not apply it directly to my hips..... Anyone want to invite me over? I'll bring it, because if I am sharing then it is okay, right? And that leads me to....

Wednesday Weigh In Week 5 (I skipped week 4)

• Starting weight December 29, 2008: 236 lbs.
• Overall Goal weight: 140 lbs.
• Weight last week: 230 lbs.
• Weight today: 232lbs
• Amount lost this week:0 lb +2

Time to get back on the wagon... good thing I got sore at work that means I am building muscle, right?

We are going on a bug hunt...

I have been very excited about starting a new job today. I am going to work Mondays an Tuesdays as a crop consultant. Which is looking for bugs, disease and weeds on farms and then making recommendations to farmers about what to use and when to do it. For those of you who are newer or may not recall, this is what my degree is in. While I have a ton of experience doing this work in ornamental plants, I have not spent as much time on farms, although I have some.

So while my new employer joked about going back to work so soon, they take off the months of December and January, I replied I was quite happy to be digging around alfalfa fields on my hands and knees looking for cutworms. It was a gorgeous day, it got up to the mid 70's and it was above freezing when we went to work. So while jackets were necessary for the wind, it wasn't too bad at all. However it was dry, holy cow is it dry right now. We have had no rain this winter and lots of wind.

My boys cannot wait to go to work with me. When you think about it, it really it is a dream job for a six year old and three year old boy.

I am going to be taking my license exam next week to be a pest consultant and will pick up certifications in both agronomic and ornamental plants so I can work with folks in town which is my next step. This job is really an answer to a prayer, it will be steady income and set days which will help me work on my own business on the side, and one or the other will grow into more.