There is such a thing as too much togetherness!

I am having trouble deciding where to start.

Do I explain my absence?

Do I start in on a heavy topic?

Go for the funny?

I guess I'll start with the first and decide on the rest later.

I realized it has been a few days since I have posted. *ahem weeks*

No one has left me any desperate inquires. *knock knock are you still alive
in there?*

You may have thought I joined the ranks of those who have dropped off the
blogosphere without warning. *Hint Hint Jeanie.*

Really the problem is that my computer access has been limited of late, the
time I have had was spent trying to make every extra spare dime on ebay
possible.

Why? Well for the last three weeks the hubby and I have both been
unemployed. Well not really, technically I am employed. I had signed up to
substitute teach before my husband resigned. It just doesn't feel like a
real job. So I started taking assignments, he looked for work and played
stay at home daddy. I scrambled to get all my listings up on ebay and work
and clean. Did I mention he has a text twist and mine sweeper addiction. So
I had to share the computer with him.

I was told I make the children share so I have to too. Sounds illogical to
me.

Good news though, he started work yesterday.

Bad news it is a pretty huge paycut while he is training and so I will be
continuing to sub.

Good news is that give me some days to maybe take some time and write while
I am doing working. For instance today I am watching the In School
Suspension kids at the junior high. There is only one and they are refusing
help so I am free to do as I please. Aren't you lucky??

Why can't we just be friends? Come on please?

As my life seems to evolve more around the cyberworld, I wonder about our real life interactions.

I know when I came here and starting blogging it soon became my biggest window to the outside world.  I felt strange at first.  Thinking I should have more "real life" friends.  However I was in one of those transition times when my real life friends and I weren't that close anymore.  My best friend had moved away and my other friends were childless and busy with other things, not hanging out at my house watching my kid drool.

Family and friends were too busy to write an actual email instead of forwards. I had a goal of writing one person a day, few felt like they had time to respond.  Talking on the phone was  a challenge  with two little guys to chase after or get into mischief while mommy's distracted. 

Mommies at the park seemed aloof with that judging looks in their eyes.  Seriously did she let her son wear a superman cape and cowboy boots? He isn't going to fit in at school.  That kid didn't wait his turn, even though she got on to him, we can't be playing together.  On the days I felt included enough to listen in, my fears were confirmed by what they said about other moms.  So then I joined the fringes the moms who smile politely at the other moms but don't really try to make friends because you never know if they are a mommy shark or not.

Soon I realized that this was my adult conversations, my place to vent and try to figure life out.  I could be more open than I would be with my family and my friends.  If  someone judged me.. well it still hurt but it was easier to not to continue the friendship.  Luckily I have never been popular enough to attract more than one troll.  Unlike some of my more popular cyber friends, who are troll magnets.

The more mommy websites I see and join or blogs I read it seems that there are so many people like me.  Looking for a "real" connection, a conversation the passes the accepted "How are you" with the expected reply of "Fine, How are you, " without any connection and no meaning.  Help my husband won't take the kids by himself and I am exhausted.  I saw one post recently that was titled My husband hates me.  I thought it is great we have a place to vent because the reality is you can't go venting that to your casual girlfriends that is for sure, and surely not to Mom or Best Friend who may hold it against him long after you have worked it out.

But then I wonder, if so many of us are looking for that real connection, the ones that mean something why can't we do it in non cyber life?  Wouldn't it be nicer if when you went to the park with your kids and you made friends instead of stayed on the sidelines.  Surely some of those women have to be the some ones struggling just like me on those web pages.  Why do we as people judges each other so harshly?  Why can't we strip down the things we are worried about others thinking of us and just be? 

Beans, Beans the Magical Fruit

In my ongoing efforts to be of service to my friends, I am going to tell you about a recent family experience.

My husband brought home some candy from his store one evening. He thought the kids would like it.

 

I was a bit nervous after reading the flavors and noticing they were made by the Jelly Belly Bean company.  I do recall the buttered popcorn flavor and how it really tasted just like popcorn with the entirely wrong texture.  However I assume no one would really make a sausage flavored jelly bean, or booger, right?

Harry Potter fans may recall Ron telling Harry they were Bertie Bott's Every Flavor beans and they do mean every flavor.  Or how Dumbledore said he lost his appetite for them after getting a vomit flavored one in his youth.

So when hubby started telling me of his experience with his late night sugar snack he stole from our precious babies, you can understand why I was died laughing.

 

He said the soap wasn't too bad, but as he made his way through the flavors he informed me he gagged on Sausage and then.... I stopped laughing and then???  I couldn't believe he continued to eat them.  He then proceeded to tell me incredulously that they had a boogey flavored one. Complete with a speckled green coloration with red flecks in it.  What is perhaps worse is that there is rotten egg, vomit and plenty of gag inducing flavors. 

 

 

 

Now knowing what I now knew, you would think that was the last of my hard earned money to be spent on these atrocities.  However it wasn't, once again on a visit to daddies store the boys wanted them.  Now this is where my evil mother genius mind kicks in. I though maybe they will stop asking for candy all the time after they get a load of these.  Just for the record it didn't work.  They didn't like them but it hasn't curbed their candy like at all.  Just for the record too, I tried a couple.  Soap really wasn't too bad, however after the tiniest possible bite off a small jelly bean I found out they weren't lying about Bacon flavor and that was as far as my squeamish stomach wanted to go...

 

While they are undoubtedly the most disgusting candy I will ever try, according to this guy they aren't the worst out there, he has a top 10 of the grossest candy out there.

No tiene nada aqui.

Yeah, there ain't too much going on down here.

Yes, I typed ain't, the redneck vibes are sinking in more...

Last week was the fair and of course we had a grand time.

Max had a great conversation with a big blue butt hog.

Z got a deputy badge from the sheriff's posse and insisted I address him as Sheriff the rest of the week.

Oh yeah and grandma (Nonie) bought them new cowboy hats a the big western stores annual fair sale.

And we got eight more chickens, that brings the total up to nine, if you are counting. 

Hanging out at the county fair was fun, I used to show steers and have many fond memories of the fair.

Speaking of fond memories, I ran into a lot of people at the fair, I hadn't seen around town yet.

The most popular question was "How do you like living here again."

Of course I smiled and gave an appropriate small talk answer.

But I have to admit it's kind of weird.  It seems like I am constantly finding myself transported back 16 years ago or more.  I am surprised how much that girl from back then is still around.  I am surprised I can say I did anything sixteen years ago.  I am surprised the friends who were "expecting" senior year have kids that will be juniors this year.  I am surprised how the girls are easy to recognize in the women they have become.  I am surprised how the guys are  harder to place, how they look like "men."  I am surprised that the hot new teacher when I was in 9th grade, is still good looking, but he looks old.  I am surprised some people don't see that seventeen year old girl who used to live here. I am surprised that how many times I just had to correct surpised with the spell check. 

 

So like I said.... No tiene nada aqui....