Bring the Rain, it is Monsoon season after all...

This summer has really been a roller coaster kind of summer, fast and tons of ups and downs and hard turns.  Today I realized I haven't even taken the boys swimming once.  Seems completely wrong.

If you are on FB or Twitter with me you may have noticed all the "downs".  My mom had to have revision surgery on her knee replacement, my dad has been in the hospital twice with a cellulitis infection in his leg. Jobs haven't worked out the way we hoped and money has been really tight. It just seems to keep coming, yesterday my five year old son and niece ate some toxic seeds from a plant, and while not life threatening he threw up for a solid 24 hours.Somewhere the middle of those events somewhere, an event happened that made me question close relationships, careers and even my faith for a second.

There have been highs too. My mom's recovery has not been as bad as they thought it would be. The tests they ran for my dad's infection revealed some possible heart issues that his other doctor has overlooked. Third Day came to our little burg and my husband was able to temporarily manage the venue and consequently has signed a teaching contract for the fall to manage the building, teach technical theater, help with the choir.  I have been praying for a long time if he was ready to go back to education that the right opportunity presented itself.

It is interesting to me how in the midst of all this stress of  lows and highs, how I have managed to sway a bit left and right but mostly have stayed tethered to my center, my faith.  I used to think that somehow I would know God when I had it all together, but I realize how well I know God when it is exactly the opposite.  I admit a couple of weeks ago, when I thought perhaps someone very precious to me was lost, I was angry for a split second.  Haven't I been faithful?  I know I am not perfect but really why?  Of course the long and short is that I am no better than anyone else and bad things are going to happen to me no matter how "good" I try to be. Free will means anyone, including me, can make the wrong choices and hurt someone else.

I am thankful that no matter what this ride of life throws at me, my heavenly father can handle it. I just need to rest secure in his hands. And I did, I didn't fall apart, I sought advice, I made the decisions I felt led to make and don't have any regrets. That my friends feels like progress, no matter how bumpy the ride was. I am very blessed to have such a wonderful support network.

¹¹ For I know the plans I have for you," declares the LORD, "plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you hope and a future.  Jeremiah 29:11 (New International Version)

I think Bring The Rain from the Band MercyMe sums it up pretty well.

I can count a million times
People asking me how I
Can praise You with all that I've gone through
The question just amazes me
Can circumstances possibly
Change who I forever am in You
Maybe since my life was changed
Long before these rainy days
It's never really ever crossed my mind
To turn my back on you, oh Lord
My only shelter from the storm
But instead I draw closer through these times
So I pray

Bring me joy, bring me peace
Bring the chance to be free
Bring me anything that brings You glory
And I know there'll be days
When this life brings me pain
But if that's what it takes to praise You
Jesus, bring the rain

I am Yours regardless of
The dark clouds that may loom above
Because You are much greater than my pain
You who made a way for me
By suffering Your destiny
So tell me what's a little rain
So I pray

Holy, holy, holy
Is the Lord God Almighty

and if you ever get a chance to check out one of their shows you should, they rock the house!