Do not pass go, do not collect your $2M.

I don't want to start off with an apology, lets just say I had a serious case of writers block.  Or that I have been helping you learn patience, because I am helpful like that  Besides by now I think everyone is used to my prolonged absences.

I have learned a few things in the last month or so.

While I am so white it is my last name, apparantly that does not mean my white blood cells are of a superior quality.  I had a sinus infection/cold that kicked my butt for two weeks solid and $300 uninsured dollars later I finally got some aid from those lovely little antibiotics.  (Community Chest: You are screwed without insurance and must give me all your money.)

I am offically too old to stay up later because it is daylight savings and I get to sleep in  an hour later in the morning.  Two major flaws, I was falling asleep while trying to stay up with the big kids and play monopoly and then the little kids are still getting up at the same time which now translates to 5:00. Yes that is in the am. (Chance: You are too old to be cool and must give the bank back your mp3 player, you probably don't know how to work it anyway.)

The new monopoly is kinda cool, but  inflation has gone up.  You now get $2 M when you pass go.  Instead of Railroads you have airports.  FYI, it is still wise to buy those up.  My lucky Sister-in-law  landed on three her first time around and then we had to pay her  a cool million every time we landed on one.  Oh and the credit card debt and back taxes kept getting my husband.  (Review: Monopoly when you are a kid is fun, now it s frightening!)

If you loose your fake front tooth (that was removable) you will have to be embarrassed for a while, as you wait to get into the dentist.  That was an experience in humilty I'd rather not repeat.  A hard lesson learned about what happens when you don't have all the work done before you switch insurances.  $3K vs 1K seems like a bargain now and a little like that damn Monopoly game. Not that it mattered by the time we got the work done our insurance was gone. (Community Chest: Next time make the trip to Juarez Mexico.)

FYI when you finally get the tooth all repaired, your glasses will inexplieably split in the middle of the nosepiece.  Despite being seen in movies and TV, band aids don't work. to fix that.  A dremel and a piece of metal wire and some super glue are helpful but not completely as super glue isn't all that great at plastic.  Lesson learned, some people will still notice and laugh at you. Make plans to sell that kidney you weren't really using.  (Oops you just landed at Eyemasters, prepare to empty your wallet again.)

Ironically McDonald's has their Monopoly game in October too,  My husband gained at least three pound trying to win by eating lunch there when we had the dough.  Only to win the damn game, not because he likes the food.  Then he had a heart attack and we couldn't afford the bill and had to put him down.  Okay I am just kidding about that.  I wouldn't put him down.

Personally I am going back to candy land.  It doesn't mirror real life.