My secret is out

Have you ever thought that men get listened too better?

For instance there have been times I took a man along with to tell another man something just because I wanted to be heard. Like when taking in a car to repair, if a man says tells another man the horn honks every time you turn right, he believes it. When a woman says it, we must be joking.

We used to do experiments with one boss. One woman would make a suggestion and he would shoot it down. Then a few days later we would send a guy in with the same suggestion, he would go for it. We tried it many times and different ways while we all really liked the boss, he obviously put more stock in it when a man said it. This prompted my coworker Barb to lament that she needed a penis to be heard. You know we we gave her plenty of symbolic peni (plural?) over the years to try and help her out.

While I think I have worked on the technique and after years of working more with men than women, I think I know how to make myself heard. Maybe I have been just fooling myself, though my son has outed me, and apparently I could make Barb jealous.

The following story will surely bring up lots of questions. I should make it a point to tell you we do practice modesty in this house, but we only have one bathroom, and sometimes things are seen. In any case, I hope it gives you a good laugh.

Recently my mother was watching four of her grandchildren one night while we went out and had good times. She gave them all a bath before bed. My youngest, Max age 3, was concerned about his younger girl cousin lacking a certain appendage. My mother tried to explain to him that girls do not have a penis. She further elaborated saying she didn't and his momma didn't. WHOA, stop right there, Nonie. He got very angry and informed her that his mother did too have a penis, it was just really small.

Magnetic Monday

Old Magnetic Poetry from a few months ago...

Found in my Garden this week....

other magnetic mondays.....
growing a life
guinevere's thoughts on nothing in particular

Forgive and Forget

Last week was vacation bible school at my church. This year and last I have volunteered to be a group leader. I get a group of kids and take them from class to class. I really enjoy it, which is kind of odd for me in a way since if asked I will tell you I am terrified of teaching grade school. (Thankfully I have never been asked when subbing.) I don't mind a small group though, and the kids are lots of fun. I just have to keep my teachers pet tendencies under control when we are in the big class and not raise my hand to answer questions. Apparently you are supposed to let the kids answer. (I'd like to think I am smarter than a first grader, ha ha.)

Wednesday's theme was choose forgiveness. I think that theme is so important and of course I want to take it beyond what a first grader understands. Choosing forgiveness, whether it is because you need forgiveness or need to forgive someone else can change your life.

Several years ago, I learned that forgiveness can really change your life. Without giving you all the sordid details, let's just say that my husband and I had a bit of challenging relationship before we were married too. So when we decided to get married after an two year break up some people in my family were not supportive at all. My parents accepted that we had both changed and grown in that time. However one uncle, whom I lived with at the time, did not. He was vehemently oppossed and told me so often. He even refused to come to the wedding. It hurt a lot. It really caused a divide with that family. For a long time it hurt badly and when I would think of them I would get knots in my stomach. I loved them and wished for things to be the way they were before. At some point I chose to let it go, forgive and be forgiven. I no longer felt knots.

One of the most blessed things about my recent trip to Oklahoma was that I saw that uncle for the first time in 8 or 9 years. He cannot travel much anymore, and I have seen my aunt at various family events over the years. When we drove up and surprised them, and I took my boys over to meet him, I was surprised when I couldn't even speak. Because despite any past hurts, I still loved and cared and letting that hurt go so long ago, left us open to have a good visit.

Even in the case of that job I described a while back, where I honestly was wrongly treated, I chose to forgive. That kind of anger was eating me up, quite frankly I was ugly while I held on to it. It wasn't until I forgave that was happy again. When our marriage hit rock bottom, two years ago, someone suggested to me there are some things in a marriage you cannot forgive. However, we found it for each other and moved on. It wasn't easy in either case, I had to let go of some hurts I really wanted to hold on to. Especially the ones that made me feel like I was right and they were wrong.

I have heard a lot of people say, I could never anyone who (fill in the blank) me. I have seen people who wouldn't speak to a sibling over who got what when mom died. I have seen parents fight over a child, for no other reason that they could not forgive themselves or each other. I have also seen families reconciled, broken families healed, because the chose to forgive.

While we use the phrase forgive and forget. The forgetting is the hard part, obviously you want to remember so you don't fall into the same situation again. However if we truly forgive we cannot go about hitting the forgiven on the head with past wrongs either. No matter how good that feels at the moment, it doesn't bring lasting happiness either.

So I challenge anyone who is wronged to choose to forgive and forget. Whoever you need to forgive is probably wrong, but do it for you not them. I recently read a fiction book called The Shack by William P. Young that address forgiveness of an almost unimaginable sort. While I advocate forgiveness, I wonder if I could even approach the forgiveness that the main character in this book is asked to choose. It is rarely easy as even as I write this I can think of a few small hurts I am holding on to, that I need to let go of. As I said it is not easy and I don't pretend to have forgiven perfectly myself.

Sometimes we think choosing forgiveness lets the other person off easy, but in reality the person it frees is you. At some point or other in our lives we have all been the recipient of generous forgiveness for someone we wronged, didn't that feel good? Besides if God can forgive us, then who are we to not forgive someone else.

Time to get er done.

Ever notice when you stop making something a habit how hard it is to go back to it?

I feel that way about blogging this week. I went to Oklahoma last week and thought no problem I'll take the laptop with me and throw a few posts up and life will be easy. Except the hotel we stayed at, didn't have wireless, they were supposed to, but it was on the fritz. One of many small things that irked us, but really not a major inconvenience in the big scheme of things. We had a grand time.

I did learn some great family stories I plan on sharing. I know this will shock you if you have been following along, but my mom asked me to make a scrapbook before we left. So I scanned photos furiously and got an album mostly done for my aunt's fortieth wedding anniversary. I am going to have to gather more of her photos and send her pages but we will eventually get er done. (Yes I am going all red neck on ya.)

The boys got to go fishing for the first time and caught fish. My aunt and uncle have a small farm and they got to feed cows and an orphaned deer my aunt rescued. It was really boy heaven, when we pulled out of the driveway for last time, Max told me he didn't want to ever leave. When I reminded him that daddy was in New Mexico, he reluctantly agreed we should go home. FYI, we went with my parents, an aunt and two cousins all in order to surprise my aunt and uncle.

It was fun to see Oklahoma again. I did not see any pickled eggs, but then again we didn't' stop at a convenience store. That is one of the things I recall from my last visit. I also recall my Okie grandmother making those periodically and trying to coax us into eating one. I guess that was better than her husbands choices I still recall him asking me once which bottle of pickled pigs feet looked better. That would be neither, Pa Pa.

I have to admit feeling some envy at how green everything was and thinking, man would I like to garden there. Luckily while were gallivanting around we got some rain here and the desert is carpeted with green. I enjoyed my walk this evening so many little blooms to see. Oh and my maters grew about a foot in the last week, no kidding. So now I have some weed killing and staking to get er done. See yall later!

Getting Off My Rump

I have been meaning to get off my rump and get going for a while.  April and May I often felt like life was moving faster than me and getting things done was difficult.  We won't discuss how bad I let the house get. We wont discuss how little I exercised.  We won't discuss my eating habits. We won't discuss how little time I have been spending in quiet time.

While I am not quite where I want to be, I have at least been getting somewhere. 

My house is cleaner, not immaculate or as organized as I want, but cleaner.   My goal of washing dishes after each meal isn't always met but I am not letting it get the point it seems insurmountable anymore either.   (Man I miss having a dishwasher, I suck at washing dishes, often washing the same plate three times.)

I feel like I have been gained weight lately, and have gotten off my kick of walking the dog in the mornings.  That unfortunately has not yet changed.  I need to walk the dog every morning, for both our sakes.  I am however at least going to exercise with my mom and aunts in a pool a couple days a week.  They are going most every day.

I really feel like I need to do the above not only for me, but for my mom.  She has some arthritis issues and while they are still evaluation what kind she has, since her level of arthritis is severe for her age, the main remedy the doctor keeps suggesting is weight loss. 

I can't help but think, I am heavier than my mom was at my age and heavier than her now, so I need to get off my rump and get in better shape.  While I have always been more active and probably in better shape than her despite the weight.  I can't help but think I am looking at my future.  Especially since she tested positive for the HLA-B27 gene, which is an arthritis indicator. 

Even if I don't end up skinny, I need to end up stronger, because I don't like the looks of my future.  I have always had physically active jobs and was still heavy, so I shudder to think what is going to happen if I keep being inactive.

Next I need to make over my diet.  I have started to think about weight before I make certain choices.  For instance I remind myself the consequences of that ice cream sandwich and have some jello or fruit instead.  But certain situations I still overeat, even though I told myself I wasn't going to, like at a family get together.

It seems like most of these problems are mental.  Once I changed my attitude about the kitchen and the house, it just seemed easier to keep it cleaner.  (Because God knows it is my husband and kids suddenly becoming neat freaks.)

What do you do to keep your weight in check or your life in order?