It's already been a year?

Wow it was another whirlwind week.

Okay that is if you call a bout with the flu and a killer migraine a whirlwind. Wednesday and Thursday were spent in delirium with a high fever. Friday the fever was gone but I had a triple header migraine. (I usually have three different "types" of headaches this one was all three.) I ended up in the hospital after freaking my family out since I was crying because I hurt so bad even after taking some prescription meds. The headache is better but it is as if there is an shadow of still in my head and I don't feel quite up to par. I am going to the doctor today to try and sort it out.

In any case, sometime in the mess of my life the last two weeks I missed my 1 year blog anniversary on September 23rd.

I was curious when mine was after Alicia and Mocha noted theirs. I don't think my first entries were all that exciting. I won't bore you with a reprint here Mostly I mention it because I realized how much I have changed in the last year.

The girl that started this blog last year was quite frankly lost. Lost as a mom, lost as a wife, lost in terms of a career. I think perhaps I found myself, even the parts I didn't want to acknowledge. I feel 100 times more confident about my worth as a mother, a woman and professionally. I still have a ways to go to accomplish my many goals, but I feel like I can get there. Last year I wasn't so sure.

I had sent a quick note to an old friend who I had been corresponding with around this time last year. We had lost touch, I think in part due to my insecurity, I doubt at the time reconnecting with me felt like much fun. It felt good to be able to send her a quick note that I was confident about, not like I had to hide how miserable my life was.

Even though, I am not living with my husband and my biggest fear in marriage came true.

Even though, I am not yet the Landscape Designer I hoped to be, I am gaining more knowledge and confidence every day and my work acts like they want to keep me around, apparently I do my job reasonably well. I am making the most since I have had kids and am not working 60 hour weeks.

Even though, I am not home with my kids all day, we still have a great time and I think we are all happy Max is a toddler with a great smile and a burgeoning vocabulary. Z loves school and church and is learning more and more every day.

In the last year I have learned that the road of life is usually bumpy. I can't continue to "wait" until the road looks better to take chances and live. In fact I am blazing my own trail, and I can handle what comes my way. (with my support base, I am not superwoman, I didn't do this all by myself.)

I have the help and support of a wonderful family, a loving father in heaven, lots of friends and you. You who have been stopping by and visiting, even when there wasn't something funny to read. I appreciate that, blogging has been a very helpful tool in becoming who I am today versus one year ago.

I can't wait to see what progress I'll have made next year.

Thanks for reading, I really do appreciate you!