A Night Out In Alientown

We found out the hubby actually gets a pair of tickets to the symphony and since he is busy working I guess it pays to have a guest.  After last night I decided perhaps my next guest, myself and the general public need to  a refresher course in concert etiquette.  

Note: These are not the rules I follow when I got to Metallica or Maiden concerts then whatever I say here reverse that.

No you don't have time to go to Hobby Lobby between dinner and the concert because when you say you only need one thing that is a lie. When you show up late they shut the doors on you and won't let you in. It was an Indiana Jones fly through the door before it shut.  Note to self: try to convince her it is closed if you take her next time.

However I do think it is okay to giggle when the audience sits down after the Star-Spangled Banner and it sounds like 500 people just sat on a whoopee cushion since the seats had a weird tendency to deflate upon seating.

Try not to remember the last time you were in this particular auditorium since it was during rat week of your failed military school career.

Your best pit stained Big Dog T-Shirt perhaps is slightly too casual. I do appreciate you expanding your horizons.Try the one that looks like a fake tuxedo shirt next time, much more appro pro.

You may wonder if your brain has been totally corrupted by mass media if during the lovely music you try to remember what Bugs Bunny was doing during that song and you can imagine all the instrumentalists Simpsonized.

Intermission is for going to the restroom, not during the next piece.  Although I can only surmise you really needed to go or wanted to compete with the tubist after the emissions as you got up.  (Those were not from the seat, I have good pitch and a sense of smell.)

It is probably okay when you hear a collective sigh of relief when the host for the evening explains that they are only doing one piece of an eighteen hour opera. 

Try to refrain from exclaiming loudly to your elderly friend "The next soloist is a Chinese Man"  Please, that is not the preferred nomenclature, Asian-American please, since he was  Korean actually.

Feel free to giggle about the fact that when I spell checked this entry it wanted to replace tubist with tubbiest.  (Love you honey!)