Curl Up & Dye

I have been in a bad mood about my hair this weekend. I got it cut, which usually upsets me. I freak out, and think it is too short. This week was no exception, the layering job on my hair seemed to look more like Eddie Van Halen then the Elaine curls I prefer. While I was kvetching, I pondered that maybe I was the only one who could see the difference to my husband. He gave a slick answer. I don't see the difference, but if it is important to you, it is important to me. Is the man running for office?

Mostly I get upset because I don't think my stylist understands curly hair well enough, nor do I seem to have the ability to explain what I want. I would like to state that I really like my stylist and she is trying to learn, and I don't think I have a better option in my area of the world. (Their are stylist who specialize in curly hair, but not in my remote backdesert.) A while back I didn't get my hair cut by a professional for three years and I snipped it myself because everyone else wanted to hack it off, make it behave, and generally just didn't get curly hair.

I decided to use the flat iron to calm the Eddie look down and flat ironing my hair makes it seem like it grew a foot since no matter how long I have let it get it, the curls always spring up to right around my collar. I admit it had been a long time since I had done it, and it was drastic change to see my hair straight.

However at my mom's birthday party, Saturday night, the reactions started to get under my skin. The compliments were fine until one my mother's oldest friends who often has encouraged me to chemically straighten my hair, went on and on about it. I try to grin and bear it, knowing she hates her coarse curly hair and is always fighting it. When other relatives started suggesting I get it done chemically I started to get hot under my collar.

My family aren't the only ones who feel that way. The lady on the Millionaire Matchmaker told one girl who to straighten her hair, men don't like it curly she said. I know other people who religiously blow dry theirs out every day, and would rather be caught dead than curly. I have had other people tell me they will take me more seriously with straight hair, it looks more polished put together.

Maybe I am a rebel, but I want to wear it curly. Some people actually pay good money to get their hair curly like mine. I am not talking a frizzy mess or unkempt hair. I get nice defined curls most of the time, or at least I think I do. I am bugged because apparently many people see me as mess with my hair au natural, not the way I see my ringlets with love. In fact there is a whole website devoted to girls like me who love their curly locks.

It can be fun to have straight hair for a while, like having a secret identity, but it is a lot more work than I normally do on my hair,because I have two small boys who can make a big mess in the half an hour it takes to straighten my hair. (That is on a good day, it often takes longer.) I can't fathom why they think the change should be permanent.

Culturally I wonder why people see the straight hair as the better option. Sugar & Spice had an interesting post about it from another race's perspective. I can't help but think of Julia Louis-Dreyfuss who has progressed from a bunch of frizzy curls, to tamed curls, and then to straight. Maybe it is an attempt to break the Seinfield curse?

Picture A, on Sunday, Picture B a few weeks ago prior to the cut.

I am curious what you think about it. Sexy or a turn off? Professional, unprofessional? Unsightly or lovely? Go ahead and tell me the truth, I can take it. What's the worst thing that will happen, you will make my hair curl?

The old grey mare, ain't what she used to be.

I have mentioned in the past that I am a bit of a tomboy.  I've been this way as long as I can remember. 

 

I don't really know when it started but I don't recall ever being girly.  My mom made us wear dresses to church and all, but from candid pictures it would appear that I was adept at getting mussed up.  While my younger sister would spend lots of time on her hair, even in grade school. 

 

Perhaps because of those tendencies, my hair was generally cut short.  I remember wanting to be a rodeo clown really badly and going through a phase where I had different colored bandanas tied to my belt loops on my cut off shorts.  I have pictures where I looked like a boy in a girls outfit, short hair going every direction.  (I will post if I can find it.)

 

In my adult life I have probably gone some pretty extended periods of time wearing no makeup, wearing mostly just men's clothing and really not caring about my looks the way most girls do. I'd finally let my hair grow long, but it was in a barrette, clip or ponytail most of the time. I'd bet a few people were probably surprised I liked boys. (No offence Q and S, but I did try to stay away from the 10 Lesbian Hair Styles I read about at a friends house, she had it as a style guide.)

 

In the last few years I have tried to be better, I quit wearing t-shirts all the time and opt for something sort of women's tee from old navy or target.  I have the habit of buying the same style in several colors.  I have colored my hair and tried for more fashionable hair styles.  Only some of my pants and shoes are from the men's department.

 

Last week I purchased an eye shadow kit and have even worn it to work, so I could ask the ladies in the office if I did it right.  I was afraid I was going to look like Mimi from Drew Carey since it had green shadow in it. Normally I stick to skin tones like pink and taupe.

 

Lately I have quit coloring my hair at the recommendation of my stylist because since I don't wear hats often enough and I was going lighter than my natural color the color would sun fade and turn all funky. I went short to cut off all the old color. Then I got the bright idea to see how much snow was on top of old smoky.  More than I would like at 33 for sure, I would estimate to be 20% grey.  I have been polling my coworkers on whether or not I should go back to coloring, mixed opinions.  Some days it is not too noticeable if my hair curls nicely.  (You girls with naturally curly hair know what I am talking about.)  Right now a bad hair day is  one hundred times worse because it always seems like the grey is showing more.  Oddly enough, those are also my fattest days as well, I think I visually gain 50 pounds.

 

In the last 6 weeks based on random comments from strangers I don't know what to think. 

 

• One lady asked me if I was in college.  She was sitting right next to my grey hair.  (Yes, she made my day.)

 

• One very young server at Sonic called me sir, until I faced him, then he apologized profusely.

 

• Yesterday the nurse at the doctor's office didn't ask me when my last menstrual period was, she queried, "do you still get them?"

 

Where did I put that box of hair dye?