We are going on a bug hunt...

I have been very excited about starting a new job today. I am going to work Mondays an Tuesdays as a crop consultant. Which is looking for bugs, disease and weeds on farms and then making recommendations to farmers about what to use and when to do it. For those of you who are newer or may not recall, this is what my degree is in. While I have a ton of experience doing this work in ornamental plants, I have not spent as much time on farms, although I have some.

So while my new employer joked about going back to work so soon, they take off the months of December and January, I replied I was quite happy to be digging around alfalfa fields on my hands and knees looking for cutworms. It was a gorgeous day, it got up to the mid 70's and it was above freezing when we went to work. So while jackets were necessary for the wind, it wasn't too bad at all. However it was dry, holy cow is it dry right now. We have had no rain this winter and lots of wind.

My boys cannot wait to go to work with me. When you think about it, it really it is a dream job for a six year old and three year old boy.

I am going to be taking my license exam next week to be a pest consultant and will pick up certifications in both agronomic and ornamental plants so I can work with folks in town which is my next step. This job is really an answer to a prayer, it will be steady income and set days which will help me work on my own business on the side, and one or the other will grow into more.

We Do What We Have To Do

I have decided to redact my application with any question I don't approve of, and try and talk to the person hiring and see how it goes. At this point it is more for curiosity, if I was serious about the job, I probably wouldn't have posted the application on my blog. Sounds like a good way to get dooced to me.

I cannot in good conscious ignore it, nor do I want to cause a big stink without allowing them an explanation. I know two young women in their 20's working for this newspaper. I hope they are not working in an environment that is detrimental to them, and I hope they don't see the ugly side of discrimination against them as women or mothers. (Neither are mothers yet.)

However my zeal for doing something about it, stems from past experiences. I was forced out of a job for being pregnant. For a long time I was very angry, depressed and beat myself up about it. Five years later, I am more philosophical and only regret one thing. That I didn't do something more to stop other people from being hurt by that employer.

It was my first job after college. I was managing a large nursery in one of the mountain resort towns around here. I had a lot of hope for the job, I was growing, selling and hoping to learn more about the practical side of landscape design. I was eager worked 80+ hour weeks and only took one day off a week. I lived on site and for the most part loved it. A few months in I realized the man that I worked for was a little less than honorable, but in my idyllic head that could be worked around too because I really loved what I was doing.

Then the unexpected happened and I found out I was pregnant. Everything changed. My boss was scared and didn't want me to do many things at work. Originally I thought it was genuine concern for my welfare. I even had my doctor speak to him and try and reassure him that all was okay. Then I realized it was due to concern for his bank account. He was afraid I would sue him. He also didn't think I would work so many extra hours on salary once I had a kid. Which is true, I shouldn't have worked that much in the first place, I was just eager and enjoyed what I was doing. What I had thought I was doing to get things set up and going, was expected for all time.

Toward my fourth month or so, when the pregnancy was very evident, it started getting really ugly. Every few days he would strip me of some responsibility, yell at me in front of customers for something stupid, he even wrote me up for moving product on the shelves after he told me not to touch anything. I cried at night to relieve the stress, but I was determined not to quit, even though in no uncertain terms he told me he wanted me gone. I wanted to hear him say you are fired for being pregnant.

Then I went to the doctor for a regular visit and I had lost 15 pounds. I was shocked since I was growing out of clothes. My doctor very pointedly asked if it was on purpose, when I said no, I spilled my guts about what was going on. She is an awesome doc and held my hand and helped me figure out what to do. I called a the number on the Family Leave Act poster around the office and found out the business was too small for them to do anything and then found the appropriate state office. I talked to the counselors and got all the paperwork and even filled it out. The counselor told me they would mediate with him about the job.

My husband needed to spend the summer taking classes to finish his teachers certificate so he could be a full time teacher with benefits in the fall. The school was three hours away. We lived at the nursery, I felt the pressure to make a decision. I lost more weight, but my tummy grew. I got sent for a high definition ultrasound in Albuquerque to find out if everything was okay. We found out the nephew my sister-in-law was pregnant with had a congenital diaphragmatic hernia and might not live. Suddenly my vision cleared and I decided to resign, move off the nursery property, get medicaid and have a healthy baby.

Finding a job was harder than I thought, I applied for temporary positions, and didn't hide the pregnancy. No one wanted to hire me pregnant either. So I wore a long flowing dress, applied at Wal-mart and didn't say anything about my pregnancy and assumed no one would ask. I was hired and they assigned me a back belt thing, I gave it back with a note from my due date to the HR director. She didn't say a word, but was obviously pissed. That day when I sat down at lunch and talked my usual girls, one of whom was the daughter of the HR lady, she literally turned her back on me and refused to speak to me. They didn't like people who used the company and didn't plan on being there a while. I needed a job and couldn't risk them telling me no based on my pregnancy. I don't regret it one iota.

I went to work, missed my husband during the week. Cried more than I care to recall and sang to that baby in my womb. I feared he would be an angry kid, it had seemed like I was upset the whole pregnancy. An older lady I knew that still worked for him saw me at work and said He said you could come back after the baby, I nearly lost it. I am not sure how loud my voice got, but I recall telling her if I wasn't good enough to work for them now, I wasn't going to be later. By the look on her face, I had hurt her feelings, I guess her generation didn't see what all the fuss was about.

I never turned in the paperwork to the Department of Labor, I didn't want my job back. Some of my family and friends thought I should sue him. I didn't want the stress. I worried about getting a bad name in the nursery industry. I relied on divine retribution for him. I need not have worried about my reputation, his was so bad, other people were surprised I lasted a year working there. Divine retribution has occured, mostly I feel sorry for him, he is such a miserable person, that is no way to live.

I hate that it is still going on. Mrs Skrumshz is experiencing it right now. For her sake, and all the others out there I feel a twinge when I see things like that application because we have rules about how people should behave. Often times the cost of enforcing them can be very rough on the victim and it isn't pursued. So I should do something about it when I have nothing to lose.

Five years later, I have made my peace with it. I wish I had checked him out more thoroughly as an employer, but lesson learned. While I really hurt emotionally over it for a while, I am stronger now. Turns out I lost weight during my second pregnancy about the same time, I think it had more to do with my body than the stress. I don't regret doing what I thought needed to do for my child. He was and still is more important to me that a job.

Luckily my fears about him being an angry child were unfounded.

This was my week, How was yours?

Z's party went great, except I personally didn't take any pictures. My unofficial photographers haven't shared the photos with me yet. I want to make a cool photo montage of my little men but haven't seem to have the time and energy to get that done this week.

It's been a busy week, not necessarily bad, just busy. Here's a recap of the last week.

Friday-- Meeting with counselor. He thinks we are ready to have the hubby move in with me by next weekend. I am not so sure, still not convinced when we leave the office. Feeling a bit stressed, but managed to get it under control with a walk instead of the chocolate I was craving. Score one point for my unofficial diet.

Saturday-- Coffee and a green chile bagel at Milagro Coffee Shop with hubby and kids. Muy bueno! Run into old friend from high school, and had a nice visit while there. Birthday party at Chuck E.Cheese. I danced with Chuck E. I bet you are glad you missed it. Afternoon of putting together toys and finally watching Goblet of Fire. I cried at the end, I am such a sap. Good family day.

Sunday-- Migrane that made me spinny and loopy without the fun of drinking first. Nothing accomplished. Slight fear that the food I took for snacks at Sunday School had made everyone else sick like me. I ate more the next day and was fine, whew! Plus I didn't receive any extra prayer requests in my email box, so I don't think that was the cause.

Monday-- Interviewed people for my two open positons. Amazed that I was getting overqualified applicants and hire two people. We also had a dinner at the nursery for the local horticulture students at the university. Another supervisor and I gave a tour to the students. We let them pick who they went with and my former employee dubbed crying girl come on my tour. I told you she didn't cry because of me! Got to visit with some old professors and other plant nerds had a good time.

Tuesday-- We had Sexual Harrassment and Descrimination training provided by the NM Department of Labor. The first thing my boss does is ask the presenter (who also investigates claims against companies) what the shortest time she has ever heard of someone working at a job before quitting. I thought I might not be the worst when she asked, "Down to the second?" but even she was shocked at half an hour. Apparantly half an hour wins the contest statewide. She kept her eyes on me like I was someone who needed to be watched closely after that. Great, my reputation grows. ; )

Wednesday-- Start the day off with one of my new hires right. I got my truck stuck in mud so bad that I had to be pulled out. Damn. I haven't done that in a long time. Then to save my life I couldn't drive the truck out straight. (In my defense it was muddy sugar sand.) So I had to let him back the truck and I pulled with the tractor, which I was slow at because I am apparantly also incapable of backing it straight. I guess it serves me right I gave him a hard time about being a real Aggie since he is a graduate of Texas A&M. (You know because us NM State Aggies are smart!) I was the one acting like an Aggie for sure. At the end of the day I had a meeting with the preacher of the church I have been attending. No time to change or clean up first and so I go in covered in mud, nice. He did treat me like a lost hobo and I think gave me some helpful advice about the situation with the hubby I feel much better. Went home to clean up and go back to church for Z's Children's Choir and my big Choir. I am so excited I haven't got to sing in a Choir in 4 years! For a church choir this is a good choir, and I am singing 1st Alto. I love that I even have that option. I'd love to sing in one of the Community Choirs that sings Requiems and the like but I can't afford the sitter every week, so to find a Church Choir on almost the same level is super exciting!

Thursday-- Actually not eventful, but I was tired, too tired to blog. Teaching my new guys what I expect about working means I have to work with them and damn, working just wears me out. LOL. I'll be glad when I can go back to being a supervisor and just lean on my shovel. Know what I mean. ; ) Oops I mean planning and coordinating and researching, not leaning on a shovel watching people work, I don't do that. That would be wrong. ; )

The Green Meanie

Some people say I have a bad reputation for being mean.

I think they are crazy of course.

My husband found a shirt for me that reads "I am not mean, you are just a sissy."

This implies I am trying to be mean. I am not trying, really. I think it's just my ugly mug intimidates people, I guess I need to learn to smile more, I am not a mean ogre, really.

I do have certain expectations and admit to being overzealous in the past. Now I think I'm reasonably cool, but like anyone I have my moments.

They still don't believe me.

Cases in point.

I had a coworker that had the same birthday, we joked we were twins, I was training her to take my place and my friends started calling her the Anti-Nora. When I inquired why, my friend replied well you know she is going to be doing your job, you are twins, and she is the nice one. This was my friend? At least she tells it like it is I guess. ; )

I had a guy who claims to be an vietnam veteran and former convict tell me I was too mean and that he couldn't handle me. Mind you he gets along famously with everyone else. (not! So again, not my fault)

My boss has been known to put people that aren't good workers under my supervision, with the intent of me either making them work or running them off. Why? Am I that bad?

Today my reputation was proved deserved. (At least to them.)

I like to hire college kids to work part time on my crew. For the most part this has worked out well for me. Last week I hired a girl who had referral from a former professor, she seemed alright, although possibly a little flighty. I hired her. I did intend to take a little more time with her and not throw her out with my guys, I thought they might be mean. While I am used to being the only girl about, many aren't. Typically we start people out on the not as nice jobs, not as punishment, but because if they aren't willing to pull weeds or carry a backpack to spray, they probably won't work out. Not everyone appreciates working outside in hot weather, with bugs and mud.

Today was her first day, she left after half an hour, before we even started using the backpack, and she cried. I swear I didn't do anything, she just said she didn't think she was suited for the job after all. No one believes it wasn't me, they say I ran her off. Not true, Not true, I tell you!

Around work, my reputation grows, however undeservedly, and this is what I tell them: 'I am not mean, she was just a sissy!"