Hey Look at Me I am a Big KId Too!

Did you know I have two boys? I kid, sometimes I feel bad, Z does get the lions share of the attention lately. He's in school and sports, sometimes little brother feels a bit left out. For the last few weeks he has been desperately wanting to be big and go to kindergarten with brother.

In fact he informed that he was five now and old enough to go. When I asked, You are? He told me that he had a few extra birthdays I didn't know about. After relating that story to a womens group at church I found out a few senior saints have apparently been trying to give their extra birthdays away to the toddlers. Sneaky, aren't they? I knew those white hairs couldn't be trusted.

In reality he will probably be attending Headstart this fall, so he will get to go to school. I don't have his letter yet, but a recent speech difficulty diagnosis most likely will ensure him a spot. I didn't take the diagnosis too hard though because he is as smart as a whip. He was very communicative with the diagnostician, and knew every question she asked, I guess it was the way he said his words, I am just used to deciphering for him.

Right now I am enjoying my extra time with him, it has been fun the last few days. The little chatter box keeps the day lively with his running commentary. Today we looked at butterflies, tarantula hawks and caterpillars. One man, whom we saw in a parking lot after Max had captured a long green larvae dared called it a worm, under his breath Max said, it's not a worm, it's a caterpillar. I think the duh was implied. (That is my little entomologist in training!)

While he had said infamous things like telling my mom what is under my pants, he can be quite profound at times for a three year old. Take Sunday at lunch, as we cracked fortune cookies, I asked him to read mine. Although he cannot actually read, his acting was dead on when he looked at the paper and* stated this, If you do the right things and then do it, you will be happy.

Sounds to me like he has it down, I don't even think the little genius needs school.


*I changed my original wording here, because I unintentionally made it sound like he can read, which he cannot. He is smart but not that smart, he is only three.

Patience is a Virtue that I don't have.

I am so excited, and I can't hardly hide it....

Aren't you glad this isn't a video blog? Then you would have probably been subject to my bad singing with incorrect lyrics.

Today we finally will find out who Zach's kindergarten teacher is, and everything associated with my bug starting school. Maybe it is just that we had to wait an extra year since his birthday falls just after the deadline, or just the newness of it all.

Yeah, my son has been to preschool for the last couple of years and really this isn't as big of a deal to him. I am not worried that he won't behave or about the big kids picking on him. In fact he will be the big kid since our town has all the kindergarten kids at the same school.

Then there was the teacher selection. It was a lot of pressure as I talked with other moms around the ball field about the upcoming school year. Who are you going to pick for his teacher, they asked. I don't know, we get to pick? was my reply. So I started asking around from the kindergarten veteran moms. They all had suggestions two names topped the list. Oddly enough one that mentioned the most had equal votes hating her and loving her. They all warned me that I needed to be in the registration line early to get in those two classes, because the first ten names for each teacher get into the class they pick and then after that they fit people in.

It felt like a big deal, this is a small town and part of me wonders if I get him into these two popular teachers classes, if that will set the tone for the rest of his school life. Like any town, but especially a small town the pecking order starts early. One day I cornered one gal, who was wildly popular in school and married to one of the hunkiest guys in school, is so very down to earth and helpful. She is a teacher and could give me the lowdown about teaching styles. After talking to her my husband and I narrowed the list down the to the three teachers we would request on our registration. The two most popular teachers weren't even on my list.

One I picked because her name came up often as a great teacher and her husband is a rancher and she tends to have a cowboy theme in class and even takes the kids on a trip to the ranch. Right up Zach's alley. Another is the protege of my kindergarten teacher whom I loved, and think would be a great fit for Zach. The last is a lady from my church, whom whenever we working the nursery or anything together, always impresses me with her skills with little kids.

Unluckily I was in Nashville that day. So I sent hubby in my stead. I called him to see how it was going and wouldn't you know he had forgot but he got down there right away. Whew, disaster avoided. He could have ruined our child's whole school career right there.

A couple of weeks later we got to go on a tour of the building. Each class is a certain kind of animal. Kangaroo, skunk, bears, bees, etc. Zach wants to be a turtle, because blue and green are his favorite colors. The turtle teacher wasn't on our list, I told him I didn't know if he would get in that class or not. MOM! my teacher (at preschool) told me you get to pick, I want to be a turtle!

That was way back in April. Since then this is the mommy talk I hear everywhere we go, So who's class is he in? I don't know, do you know who your kid has, I would frantically reply, wondering how they know. What did I miss?!? No they would admit, they didn't know they were wondering too. At a birthday party this summer I cornered a kindergarten teacher, and grilled her for info, when do we find out what is going on???? She told me we would know the Friday before school starts we would have an orientation. No letters in the mail, I have been impatient for this day to come ever since. Four long months, but today is the day. While Zach is excited, I think I am the one who cannot wait until 1:00.

**Update** is in the comments

Magnetic Monday

Old Magnetic Poetry from a few months ago...

Found in my Garden this week....

other magnetic mondays.....
growing a life
guinevere's thoughts on nothing in particular

Does this upset you?

1. International Breastfeeding Symbol Pendant Necklace, 2. Mary Cassatt painting Breastfeeding Pendant, 3. Renoir Breastfeeding Pendant Necklace, 4. Dalou Breastfeeding Pendant Necklace, 5. Mary Cassatt Drawing Breastfeeding Pendant Necklace, 6. Solario Breastfeeding Pendant Necklace, 7. Solario Breastfeeding Pendant Necklace, 8. sling baby, 9. mama


First I want to recognize the artist who created these lovely pendants. She has an etsy store, Such Pretty Colors and a website, and you should be able to access her flickr photo set from the credits under the photos. She also has a blog, I found these pendants a while back searching on how to make polymer clay photo pendants. (Which I still have not mastered by the way.)

Second, I wonder why these images bothers so many people. I am sure most of us have heard of Facebook removing pictures of breastfeeding mothers because it violates their terms of use. Myspace does this as well, according to one of my friends who had a complaint filed and a picture removed this week. The photo in question was an oil painting not unlike some of those pictured here. (I should note I have accounts on both sites.)

Personally I have seen much more offensive photos of scantily clad girls who want to be my friend so they can spam me to death about visiting their porn site, or help me learn how to make money.

As a mother, who breastfed both of my boys, I am well aware of the opposition to breastfeeding. For the life of me, I don't get it. If I had dime for every time someone said something chastising to me like I don't have a problem with it unless, they can chew real food, ask for it, walk, I could have bought formula. Except I didn't want to, I was lazy and cheap and washing bottles and buying formula seemed stupid to me. Of course I was lucky enough to stay home or work part time both times for the first year.

I am more shocked by the discouragement most hospital nurses give to breastfeeding. I was discouraged with my first. The second time around the nurses didn't give me any guff, God bless them, because I was loaded for bear if they had even whispered to me about formula. I can easily count on both hands friends who have been outright discouraged, have been chastised and generally given a hard time about it. I had one daycare director, actually suggest to me that if I insisted on breastfeeding, I should pump it and feed it from a bottle so I knew exactly how much he was getting. She told me she disapproved of breastfeeding, I thought that was especially sad since she was the director of a grads program at a high school, and was in charge of helping guide the teen mothers.

One of my most angry moments was using a tucked away breastfeeding nook at our local mall on day, completely covered, I am not the bare all type of girl, and getting ugly looks from the mall walkers. I was very pissed me off, they saw the signs, they could have not walked around the booth.

I know breastfeeding isn't for every mom, since work or medical issues often prevent it. However I feel like social pressure should never be the reason. I don't know why I was so adamant about it, since other than one girlfriend, I knew no one else who was doing it. It wasn't a tradition in my family. However the possible benefits for my child seemed, to outweigh any misgivings I might have had. I can see why painters through the ages have chosen to document it, I still have fond memories of my babies, suckling, staring intently at me with a tiny hand curled around my fingers.

I think it is sad the female breast is so sexualized in this country that is the only use we can see for it, and not for the other reason God made them.

We Do What We Have To Do

I have decided to redact my application with any question I don't approve of, and try and talk to the person hiring and see how it goes. At this point it is more for curiosity, if I was serious about the job, I probably wouldn't have posted the application on my blog. Sounds like a good way to get dooced to me.

I cannot in good conscious ignore it, nor do I want to cause a big stink without allowing them an explanation. I know two young women in their 20's working for this newspaper. I hope they are not working in an environment that is detrimental to them, and I hope they don't see the ugly side of discrimination against them as women or mothers. (Neither are mothers yet.)

However my zeal for doing something about it, stems from past experiences. I was forced out of a job for being pregnant. For a long time I was very angry, depressed and beat myself up about it. Five years later, I am more philosophical and only regret one thing. That I didn't do something more to stop other people from being hurt by that employer.

It was my first job after college. I was managing a large nursery in one of the mountain resort towns around here. I had a lot of hope for the job, I was growing, selling and hoping to learn more about the practical side of landscape design. I was eager worked 80+ hour weeks and only took one day off a week. I lived on site and for the most part loved it. A few months in I realized the man that I worked for was a little less than honorable, but in my idyllic head that could be worked around too because I really loved what I was doing.

Then the unexpected happened and I found out I was pregnant. Everything changed. My boss was scared and didn't want me to do many things at work. Originally I thought it was genuine concern for my welfare. I even had my doctor speak to him and try and reassure him that all was okay. Then I realized it was due to concern for his bank account. He was afraid I would sue him. He also didn't think I would work so many extra hours on salary once I had a kid. Which is true, I shouldn't have worked that much in the first place, I was just eager and enjoyed what I was doing. What I had thought I was doing to get things set up and going, was expected for all time.

Toward my fourth month or so, when the pregnancy was very evident, it started getting really ugly. Every few days he would strip me of some responsibility, yell at me in front of customers for something stupid, he even wrote me up for moving product on the shelves after he told me not to touch anything. I cried at night to relieve the stress, but I was determined not to quit, even though in no uncertain terms he told me he wanted me gone. I wanted to hear him say you are fired for being pregnant.

Then I went to the doctor for a regular visit and I had lost 15 pounds. I was shocked since I was growing out of clothes. My doctor very pointedly asked if it was on purpose, when I said no, I spilled my guts about what was going on. She is an awesome doc and held my hand and helped me figure out what to do. I called a the number on the Family Leave Act poster around the office and found out the business was too small for them to do anything and then found the appropriate state office. I talked to the counselors and got all the paperwork and even filled it out. The counselor told me they would mediate with him about the job.

My husband needed to spend the summer taking classes to finish his teachers certificate so he could be a full time teacher with benefits in the fall. The school was three hours away. We lived at the nursery, I felt the pressure to make a decision. I lost more weight, but my tummy grew. I got sent for a high definition ultrasound in Albuquerque to find out if everything was okay. We found out the nephew my sister-in-law was pregnant with had a congenital diaphragmatic hernia and might not live. Suddenly my vision cleared and I decided to resign, move off the nursery property, get medicaid and have a healthy baby.

Finding a job was harder than I thought, I applied for temporary positions, and didn't hide the pregnancy. No one wanted to hire me pregnant either. So I wore a long flowing dress, applied at Wal-mart and didn't say anything about my pregnancy and assumed no one would ask. I was hired and they assigned me a back belt thing, I gave it back with a note from my due date to the HR director. She didn't say a word, but was obviously pissed. That day when I sat down at lunch and talked my usual girls, one of whom was the daughter of the HR lady, she literally turned her back on me and refused to speak to me. They didn't like people who used the company and didn't plan on being there a while. I needed a job and couldn't risk them telling me no based on my pregnancy. I don't regret it one iota.

I went to work, missed my husband during the week. Cried more than I care to recall and sang to that baby in my womb. I feared he would be an angry kid, it had seemed like I was upset the whole pregnancy. An older lady I knew that still worked for him saw me at work and said He said you could come back after the baby, I nearly lost it. I am not sure how loud my voice got, but I recall telling her if I wasn't good enough to work for them now, I wasn't going to be later. By the look on her face, I had hurt her feelings, I guess her generation didn't see what all the fuss was about.

I never turned in the paperwork to the Department of Labor, I didn't want my job back. Some of my family and friends thought I should sue him. I didn't want the stress. I worried about getting a bad name in the nursery industry. I relied on divine retribution for him. I need not have worried about my reputation, his was so bad, other people were surprised I lasted a year working there. Divine retribution has occured, mostly I feel sorry for him, he is such a miserable person, that is no way to live.

I hate that it is still going on. Mrs Skrumshz is experiencing it right now. For her sake, and all the others out there I feel a twinge when I see things like that application because we have rules about how people should behave. Often times the cost of enforcing them can be very rough on the victim and it isn't pursued. So I should do something about it when I have nothing to lose.

Five years later, I have made my peace with it. I wish I had checked him out more thoroughly as an employer, but lesson learned. While I really hurt emotionally over it for a while, I am stronger now. Turns out I lost weight during my second pregnancy about the same time, I think it had more to do with my body than the stress. I don't regret doing what I thought needed to do for my child. He was and still is more important to me that a job.

Luckily my fears about him being an angry child were unfounded.

My Best "Girlfriend" Advice on How to be The Best Mom you can be.

I have been thinking about this topic for a while. Yesterday while reading the Parent Bloggers Network, I decided to participate in my first ever Blog Blast. They are trying to find out the truth behind Motherhood in conjunction with the Discovery networks new docu-drama Deliver Me.

I hosted a baby shower for a one of my oldest and bestestest friends ever and I even put together a little book where everyone at the shower was supposed to give their best mommy advice to her. My advice was super super lame, I think I said something about enjoying them because they grow fast. Not that it isn't true, but really she could get that advice anywhere.

When I thought about it the advice I would give a lot of things came to mind. Most of which I probably read before becoming a mom, but I have to learn everything the hard way, through experience.

Motherhood is tough, much harder than I ever knew.

I try to thank my mom all the time and grandmothers all the time. I use the mantra at least I don't have thirteen in reverence to my great grandmother all the time.

Motherhood makes you grow as a person.

I swear God is trying to work on all of my issues through my kids, because apparently you need to be mature to guide them. (Who knew?)

Motherhood is messy.

It hasn't helped me to become the neat freak I someday hope to be, with spilled juice, dirty diapers and toys strewn about. You will care more about poop than you ever imagined.

Motherhood is lonely sometimes.

You will probably feel like no one understands what you are going through or that you can't take one more second of it sometimes. We all do, we all get it and seriously just reach out to me or whoever you need. Okay? You are normal don't beat yourself up about it.

Motherhood doesn't really have any hard and fast rules.

What works for me doesn't always work for you. What worked with kid #1, won't work with kid #2. There will be times when you feel pressured to do something other moms around you at church, daycare or whatever are doing that doesn't work for you. It's okay.

Motherhood is hard to let go of.

Meaning leaving your kids sometimes is the hardest thing you will do, even if it is with mom or hubby. Do it. Trust me, hubby will figure it out given enough opportunity. If he is never on his own with them, he won't be able to take care of them. You need some time on your own on occasion.

However that wasn't the advice I really wished I had given either. This is the thing that continually pops in my head.

Don't fail to have sex with your husband.

Just in case you thought I meant with someone else. : 0

Doesn't exactly sound profound, progressive or even having to do with motherhood, does it?

I think what I am trying to say is in the midst of your body wildly changing, becoming a mother, your breasts being used for a purpose you may have never contemplated before. Not to mention the vjayjay being out of whack.

However I dropped the ball on this one. I think it profoundly affected the next few years. (Now I bet at least one person who reads this will think, no he was the jerk. He was, but the point is we lost a connection before he really got his jerkiness on.) Luckily we worked it out and yes intimacy played a big part in that.

I know what you might be thinking. I need a shower... tell him that, trust me, he will pitch in more readily if he knows what to do. My husband claims he cannot read my mind. Yeah I have noticed that honey.

I know what you might be thinking. Eww my body is fat and flabby now I don't even want to go near it.... imagine you have Cindy Crawford's body or whomever you like, I bet he doesn't even care.

I know what you might be thinking. I will scream if one more person wants to touch me. Get a breather, make sure you are getting some baby free time (see letting go above.)

Most importantly have fun and don't forget to spend some time with the hubby whether you get it on or not. Okay. Really it is that important, our kids deserve to have healthy happy parents.

Just one last piece of girlfriend advice though... don't forget the birth control unless you want another one right away. It happens more often than you might think.

March Madness

March is a busy month. A time of change, rebirth, first blooms of spring. The last few years it has been the moving on after a hard winter, ones that contained too many goodbyes to loved ones.


Three years ago at the end of February we said goodbye to my grandfather and my husbands father within days of each other. We knew March would bring about a big change because Bubbles II, as we called him back then was just waiting to make his entrance. Three weeks later he joined us on the 21st.


I admit to being surprised when I first saw him. The reddish blond hair threw me for a loop. He was healthy and beautiful and of course big brother loved him too.

While in the beginning I saw a carbon copy of Zach except with blond hair, his personality has developed to be quite different than Zach. Maybe it is being the little brother, but he knows how to assert himself a lot more. In good ways and bad. Fun loving and adorable he garners attention where ever we go. Daring he can be found repelling, jumping and climbing.

One sitter dubbed him "Frank" because of his brilliant blue eyes. He tends to be a bit more pensive at times and can be found staring out his window, when he will sit still that is. He is one busy guy. In fact it will take me all day to write this between his "help" and the things he gets into when I am otherwise engaged. In all ways a typical 3 year old boy.

I may have got more than I bargained for thinking Zach needed a baby brother. Together they are a force to be reckoned with. While Zach runs to me and cries, Max take care of the problem himself, and then runs to me and cry. We actually thought we would have to hold him back from beating the kid who pushed Zach down at a soccer game. That's not nice Jackie, raging from his mouth.

He looks more like daddy than his brother does. I think he acts most like my father, quiet but forceful. The pediatrician at his 3 year old well child check up thought perhaps he is behind on speech and ordered an evaluation. We will see, I just think he doesn't always feel the need to speak. My grandmother claims they thought my dad was deaf he could ignore so well, Max seems to have the same skill. However he will tell me what he thinks. The other day as I called him Max Attack, he informed his name was MAXWELL WHITE, OTAY?

Otay baby, oops I mean big boy, I know you aren't a baby anymore. However you will always be my baby. I am glad that I saw a catalog cover with a boy and his baby brother that made me think, I need another. You are my favorite first blossom of spring.

What do you think?

I had another topic in mind but as I opened the MSN home page today this headline caught my eye and I feel the need to give my opinion, and find out yours.

This is the story of a mother going to trial for leaving her child alone asleep in the car.

These are the facts of the story...

She was taking her kids to drop of money to the salavation army bell ringer at a walmart.

Her 2 year old in backseat strapped in had fallen asleep.

She parked in the loading zone and was never out of eyesight of her asleep child, and the car was locked. She never entered the store, nor intended to.

I think it is ridiculous. I would have done the same. I have done the same, buying newspapers or dropping of mail at the post office. Had she left the child while she went inside that would have been different. I don't think she "endangered" her child nor deserves punishment. There are plenty of people who deserve that who aren't getting it.

Just so you know these are my rules for this.

It has to be fast, very fast. --Any obstacle, like I cannot see the car at all times or it might take more than 30 seconds, I don't do it.

My kids are both able to unbuckle themselves and unlock the doors so I don't dare leave them for any longer.

However as kids, we were left alone all the time for quick trips into the store. It was common then.

What do you do and think?