Infinite Grace 2008

Oh, life has been a whirlwind lately. Isn't that always the case, especially as the holidays approach?

Before I update on current events I was recently revisiting some memories and want to share.

Three years ago I climbed into a car with my mom and one of her best friends to head to Phoenix for the weekend. I was apprehensive and nervous. We were heading to a Woman's conference, and while I was excited about the trip. I wasn't excited about the drive. I knew at some point I was going to get questioned by my mom and her friend (who I have know the better part of my life) about what was going on with me. If my husband and I were going to get divorced or if I was going to take him back. We were in the middle of a separation at the time. He was finally starting to make a turn around and I was trying to make it work, but not compromise. Hard time. I knew my mom and her friend, were incensed on my behalf and wanted me to not get hurt again.

There was another group of ladies going with us. One climbed in our car for a while and boy was I glad, since that would take the pressure off me. As we got to talking she told us her story about how her husband had an affair and the ensuing aftermath and how a few years later they were both remarried and attending the same church and navigating the co parenting arena. I felt bad because as I listened to her story, I stared out my window as the tears quietly rolled down my face. I couldn't face her or speak for fear of completely losing it and making a fool of myself. Her story hit too close to home, the possiblilty of this being my future.

When we got to the conference, I recall timidly singing along with the singers in the beginning. Realizing that I just entered an arena full of approx 12,000 women. I recall when the first speaker got up, she talked about how she had been on one of those Christian TV networks and I remember skeptically thinking, oh she is one of "those" people. As Sheila Walsh continued she detailed a mental breakdown and how her life was really transformed by God, Istarted to change my mind. Maybe these speakers, these singers would be someone I could relate to. By the time we started back home, I was better able to speak honestly with my mom and her friend about what was going on in my life and how my husband I were still working toward healing. After listening to the many stories of God's grace, I had the courage to do what did not seem like the easy option and forgive my husband and myself and move on with our marriage.

We went again last year, by then I had moved back to where my parents live, with my husband and was still embarking on a new life. At the time, I think my husband was starting a new job after his first endeavor hadn't gone well. We had just weathered one of those tests where I thought I was going to lose him again to that terrible Balrog of depression. This year, I couldn't help marvel at how much my life changes every time I go. As I laugh, cry and dance throughout the conference, I cannot help but feel so renewed at the end. The speakers are always so open to tell about their trials, failures, and subsequent successes. Never do I feel preached at by someone who just doesn't get what my life is about.

Here are a couple of links to some of my favorite segments from this years Women of Faith conference. Whether it is listening to spunky Patsy Clairmont speak, Sandi Patty bringing the house down with her husband, Nicole C. Mullins rocking it, or Anita Renfroe making me laugh, I had a great time.

I also can't help but thank my mom for including my sister and I and paying our way on these trips. Enjoying some time with them is always special. We already have tickets for next year, for the Phoenix conference in October. They meet all over the country and I highly recommend attending one near you. Of course I would always welcome you joining our group in Phoenix.

Mundane Moments

Do you find the most beautiful moments in life are sometimes the most mundane?

Every once in a while we are doing the dumbest thing and I just marvel at how great life is.

Yesterday I had one of those moments. The washer quit agitating, which was quite agitating really. So Ben took the bottom off to take a look at it. At one point he had it needed my help to check something out. So here we are on a Saturday afternoon sitting in our hall working on the washer and just hanging out. I couldn't help but think a few years ago, my husband didn't fix anything, much less attempt to. A few years ago I would have been mad, upset and worried about what I was going to do without a washer, since buying a new one right now is not an option. A few years ago this would have been cause for a bunch of drama.

I am so glad our lives changed for the better. It's moments like those, that make me realize how far our faith and marriage have evolved over the last few years. Not that we don't have our moments, because we certainly do, they are just a lot less often. I need to remember and thank God everyday for restoring my family, and making it better than it was before the problems started.

This was my week, How was yours?

Z's party went great, except I personally didn't take any pictures. My unofficial photographers haven't shared the photos with me yet. I want to make a cool photo montage of my little men but haven't seem to have the time and energy to get that done this week.

It's been a busy week, not necessarily bad, just busy. Here's a recap of the last week.

Friday-- Meeting with counselor. He thinks we are ready to have the hubby move in with me by next weekend. I am not so sure, still not convinced when we leave the office. Feeling a bit stressed, but managed to get it under control with a walk instead of the chocolate I was craving. Score one point for my unofficial diet.

Saturday-- Coffee and a green chile bagel at Milagro Coffee Shop with hubby and kids. Muy bueno! Run into old friend from high school, and had a nice visit while there. Birthday party at Chuck E.Cheese. I danced with Chuck E. I bet you are glad you missed it. Afternoon of putting together toys and finally watching Goblet of Fire. I cried at the end, I am such a sap. Good family day.

Sunday-- Migrane that made me spinny and loopy without the fun of drinking first. Nothing accomplished. Slight fear that the food I took for snacks at Sunday School had made everyone else sick like me. I ate more the next day and was fine, whew! Plus I didn't receive any extra prayer requests in my email box, so I don't think that was the cause.

Monday-- Interviewed people for my two open positons. Amazed that I was getting overqualified applicants and hire two people. We also had a dinner at the nursery for the local horticulture students at the university. Another supervisor and I gave a tour to the students. We let them pick who they went with and my former employee dubbed crying girl come on my tour. I told you she didn't cry because of me! Got to visit with some old professors and other plant nerds had a good time.

Tuesday-- We had Sexual Harrassment and Descrimination training provided by the NM Department of Labor. The first thing my boss does is ask the presenter (who also investigates claims against companies) what the shortest time she has ever heard of someone working at a job before quitting. I thought I might not be the worst when she asked, "Down to the second?" but even she was shocked at half an hour. Apparantly half an hour wins the contest statewide. She kept her eyes on me like I was someone who needed to be watched closely after that. Great, my reputation grows. ; )

Wednesday-- Start the day off with one of my new hires right. I got my truck stuck in mud so bad that I had to be pulled out. Damn. I haven't done that in a long time. Then to save my life I couldn't drive the truck out straight. (In my defense it was muddy sugar sand.) So I had to let him back the truck and I pulled with the tractor, which I was slow at because I am apparantly also incapable of backing it straight. I guess it serves me right I gave him a hard time about being a real Aggie since he is a graduate of Texas A&M. (You know because us NM State Aggies are smart!) I was the one acting like an Aggie for sure. At the end of the day I had a meeting with the preacher of the church I have been attending. No time to change or clean up first and so I go in covered in mud, nice. He did treat me like a lost hobo and I think gave me some helpful advice about the situation with the hubby I feel much better. Went home to clean up and go back to church for Z's Children's Choir and my big Choir. I am so excited I haven't got to sing in a Choir in 4 years! For a church choir this is a good choir, and I am singing 1st Alto. I love that I even have that option. I'd love to sing in one of the Community Choirs that sings Requiems and the like but I can't afford the sitter every week, so to find a Church Choir on almost the same level is super exciting!

Thursday-- Actually not eventful, but I was tired, too tired to blog. Teaching my new guys what I expect about working means I have to work with them and damn, working just wears me out. LOL. I'll be glad when I can go back to being a supervisor and just lean on my shovel. Know what I mean. ; ) Oops I mean planning and coordinating and researching, not leaning on a shovel watching people work, I don't do that. That would be wrong. ; )