Recently while participating in the fair, I was pondering what I want my boys to be involved in, how I want them to grow up. I won't lie, I worry sometimes what people think about those kind of activities. Do they think we are dumb because we think it is fun to chase a pig? Do they think we are uneducated rubes?
I'd like to think our children are going to get a unique education. Daddy with a music degree and manager of a Symphony, mommy with an agriculture degree and a love of bugs and plants and cows.
I couldn't help think I want them to learn how to handle animals for a thousand reasons, but mainly because learning how to handle situations that seem impossible, like getting a 2000 lb animal to behave. If you can't muster some self confidence in that situation, you wont succeed.
I want them to play sports and have a coach who pushes them to their physical limits so they understand sometimes we push past what we think we can do physically and triumph. I want them to lose a big game and get back in the play the next one like it didn't happen.
I want them to master an instrument so they can know the beauty and release of music in all it's forms. Whether it be Cash, Mozart,Black Flag, Persechetti, Bob Wills or Metallica (the old stuff). The hard work, the mastering of rhythms that seem to complex on the first try and then roll off the tongue or fingers by the last.
I want them to learn that education comes from experience, while books guide and give direction they aren't a replacement for having been there and done that.
I want them to understand Love, not the sugary candy flavored romantic love sold in the media, but real unconditional love. I want them to understand the grace of God and its transforming power.
Recently I happened upon a blog where a mom said this.. You want to hear a real punk rock mommy parenting tip… I always believed that it was not my job to raise good children but rather to prepare my children for adulthood. Everything you teach them as children ought to be for the purpose of having them be strong, healthy, and independent adults. (Punk Rock Mommy. June 19, 2008*)
I had never thought of it that way, but that is exactly what I want to prepare them for adulthood so they are strong and capable but still know how to have fun. Don't get me wrong, I want to have good kids, but from the inside out, you know not just well mannered in front of the right people.
What did your parents do to prepare you for to be an adult?
*For more about Punk Rock Mommy please see the comment section.
Wednesday, August 27, 2008
Prepping them for adulthood
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Regarding the quote from Punk Rock Mommy. It just so happened I read this blog after I started the first draft of this entry. I had a hard time finalizing it afterward since Punk Rock Mommy's writing really moved me. Just so you know if you hop over to her sight. Punk Rock Mommy, Andrea, was writing about her experiences after she was diagnosed with Invasive Breast Cancer. Sadly she lost her battle with cancer in July. I highly encourage everyone to read her entries, while they are sad at times, they are uplifting, funny and poignant. She loved Jesus and has a great testimony. You can find the blog at http://punkrockmommy.org.
-- Nora
So true Nora, our job is to prepare them and teach them not control how they act, after all we learn later in life or at least I did, that we can only change and control ourselves. I have no doubt your kids will be awesome.
Nora - Thanks for visiting our family blog - even if it was by accident! I have linked to yours through Mindy's a few times and really enjoy it. Of those I have read, though, this post is my favorite. You summed parenting up very well and of course, I also love the mention of raising animals and everything the kids get out of it. I am a product of that myself (pigs and sheep) and it gets me very excited (and nostalgic) to hear Colton talking about what animals he wants to raise (right now, there isn't one he doesn't want - Uh Oh!). I will continue to visit your blog. Pop on over to ours anytime you'd like!
Nora,
What a wonderful post!!
Fabiola
I love this post! I don't have children, but I completely agree. I think my parents did exactly as you say you are doing--preparing them to be adults. It's sad when you see a grown woman (a friend of mine) who doesn't understand that at the age of 28 she is responsible to keep track of her personal stuff. Her license plate expired and blamed it that the DMV didn't send her a reminder card-she just moved from out of state. Or that her dad didn't remind her or take care of it. Um, she's 28 frickin' years old! My parents made sure I knew how to balance a checkbook, pay my bills, manage money, etc etc. I think I've been cleaning dishes and making my bed since I was about 6!
My goal in educating my children is to prepare them to be great adults. There are days we miss all of the basics (math, reading, writing) but I hope not a day goes by where they are not learning the importance of good manners, citizenship, love....
Very nice Nora. It is funny how you can be touched by someone you have never met in person just by reading their blog.
I think your boys should know how to mow turf and spray chemicals. There is more money in it.
My parents never harped on mistakes I made, but always supported me and provided a soft place to land. How humbling it was to find myself widowed and living in their den while picking up the pieces of my life.
I loved my childhood. If I ever have children I hope they can have the same experience.
Honestly, I wish that my mother and stepfather taught me more. They were so into each other that they really did not take/have the time for the children in their lives. I have learned a lot about how to be a respected/respectful adult from the school of hard knocks. Not something that I would wish on any child. I do think that what you ingrain in your children now, as they are coming up, will stay with them all their lives. I loved this message. I just wish that I had someone share this with me when I was younger. It makes me wonder what my life would have been like if I had been raised with a better sense of self worth. But you can't unring that bell, but I can work around it, and make the best of what life brings me in the here and now. You are writing some really valuable lessons on those slates of their lives. They will thank you for it one day.
I just love this post! Teaching Charlie? I'll have to think about that one.
What wonderful advice.
I plan to read Punk Rock Mommy's blog in it's entirety. Thanks for sharing this - you & your husband sound like phenomenal parents!
P.S. I hope you weren't offended by my brother's comment after your comment on his birthday post. He is a NUT and meant it as a "funny." :)
@shoozles -- Too true about only being able to change ourselves, learned that lesson the hard way, I did. (Don't know why but I am channeling Yoda with that syntax.)
@tammy -- good thing Colton has a mom who is a former 4-H agent that will help. Hope you have lots of room for all those animals.
@malathionman -- you are right worker for golfers is more lucrative than gardeners, but I hate to see them turn to the dark side.
@hyperher -- I had awesome parents too who always provided a soft place to fall without coddling.
@curlysue -- I don't understand people who act that way either.
@becca -- It is a shame not everyone gets to grow up in a loving environment, so glad you rose above it. You are really amazing, you know that?
@jen -- No offense taken, my family is very offensive so it takes a lot to get me going. My brother has the same facial hair, creepy I know.
@bird -- I guess with school starting I am pondering how to accomplish those goals more specifically. Of course you have a different set of goals to worry about right now, these will rear their heads soon enough. I can't wait to see what Charlie accomplishes, I think with you as his mommy, he will blow the roof off all expectations.
What a gorgeous, gorgeous post. I can't honestly say what my parents "did" to prepare me for adulthood. At the time neither of them were parenting all that well so I had to sort it out on my own. I don't think I did half bad. :)
I wish I wish I wish we lived closer. I'd have you over for Tweezer Stealer homemade pizza. ;)
*hugs*
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